


Love the One You're With

by podsandpuppies



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Slow Burn, Vignette, endgame phichit chulanont/katsuki yuuri, funny how a dentist appointment can change your whole future, yuuri learns thai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-18 19:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/podsandpuppies/pseuds/podsandpuppies
Summary: Sometimes love begins with a whirlwind of passion and romance. Other times it grows so slowly you don’t notice until you can’t imagine a future without them.Or: Yuuri and Victor never get their chance and Yuuri finds himself falling for his best friend as the years go by.





	Love the One You're With

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was supposed to be no more than 2k and based on the whole "if we're both single by the time we're 40 let's get married" thing. But hey, when do things ever go according to plan? Enjoy!

After the debacle at the Grand Prix Final in Sochi, Yuuri decides to take a year off. He’s not committed to retirement, not yet, but he’s not sure he can recover from such an embarrassing loss. So he keeps his head down, he finishes his degree, and he goes home to Japan. Phichit moves to Thailand, too, flying out on the same day as Yuuri. 

They hug after they get through security. “Don’t stay away too long, okay? And I want you to call me at least once a week.” Phichit says. 

Yuuri nods and clutches his friend close, trying not to cry in the middle of the airport. Finally, they part and walk separate ways to their gates. 

***

When he’s home, he shows Yuuko the routine he’s been practicing - Victor’s routine. She claps her hands in delight and tells Yuuri that it’s amazing. 

“You’ll have to show the girls when they get back from their dentist appointment!” she tells him. “They’ll love it.”

***

That summer, Yuuri splits his time between the onsen and the Ice Castle. He helps out where he can in both places and ends up becoming an unofficial sous chef to his mom after mastering his favorite dish and an official skating instructor after teaching the triplets how to do a toe loop. Yuuko tries without much success to stop the girls from posting any videos of Yuuri practicing on his own and eventually concedes with Yuuri’s permission to letting them post five minutes’ worth of footage each week. They never capture him skating Victor’s routine. When Yuuri looks at the videos he spots his own mistakes to work on, but he also spots the comments and is surprised to find he still has fans. He doesn’t deserve them. In his weekly calls, Phichit tells him he deserves the world. 

He often skates to whatever music is on his playlist that day, but as the summer wears on he finds himself listening to the same songs and doing the same moves. He doesn’t realize he’s created two thirds of a routine until Yuuko points it out to him. Maybe he’ll use pieces of this when he returns next year. By now, he knows he’ll make a comeback. 

***

In August, Victor announces that this will be his last season. Yuuri panics. He was supposed to be able to take a year off and get a second chance at skating against Victor the year after. Now his chance is disappearing. 

He calls Phichit and doesn’t even need to explain the situation. Phichit already knows. He finds himself already calming at the sound of his best friend’s voice. Phichit reassures him and tells him he has a plan, if Yuuri is willing to go along with it. He doesn’t tell Yuuri what the plan  _is_ , of course, claiming he still has to work out the details. 

The next day he gets a call from Celestino inviting him to train in Thailand. The plan is absurd and his gut tells him he’s not worth it, that he’s not ready, that he doesn’t have enough time before the season starts. He tries skating to clear his head and finds his answer. He loves skating and he admires Victor. This is his last chance and he’s desperate for it.

***

When Yuuri lands in Thailand Phichit wraps him in a bone-crushing hug. He’s never been to Thailand, but after all the times he promised he’d come here someday with Phichit and after receiving such a warm welcome, it almost feels like coming home. 

Celestino greets him with an enthusiastic handshake. “It’s good to have you back. We have a lot of work to do.”

***

Yuuri moves in with Phichit again and they quickly fall into their old routines. This time Yuuri doesn’t have coursework so he spends his free time learning Thai. Phichit agrees to help him and stops talking to Yuuri in English outside the rink.

One night Yuuri looks up from a page of notes in frustration. “This language is impossible! How does anybody ever learn to read?”

“Doesn’t Japanese use three writing systems?” Phichit retorts. 

“And all three of them make more sense than this!” He gestures his hand at the page in front of him. 

Phichit laughs. “You can speak fine, Yuuri. That’s what’s important. But if it helps, I promise to always stay by your side as long as you’re here.”

***

When it’s time for Yuuri to choose his theme, Yuuri thinks of the places he’s been this year - in Detroit with Phichit, in Hasetsu with his family, and in Thailand with Phichit again. He wears a soft smile on his face when he announces that his theme is “Home.”

***

Phichit and Yuuri both make it to the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona. Everything is weighing on this moment and Yuuri feels like vomiting from nerves. Phichit helps him ease his breathing and reminds him that this is his brain’s trick - he’s stronger than he thinks he is. 

In the end, he stands on the podium with a bronze metal and stares up at Victor Nikiforov. Victor smiles and winks, gold metal shining against his chest. Christophe Giacometti leans forward on the silver podium and grins as well. The other competitors are at the edges of the rink. JJ Leroy came in fourth, Yuri Plisetski came in fifth, and Phichit came in sixth. Last year Yuuri had been miserable to come in last, but Phichit is happy with his performance and happy to have been in the final. 

When Yuuri asks him he smiles. “Sixth in the world is still pretty good! Next year I’ll have more quads. I’ll definitely make it to the podium!”

***

Yuuri avoids the champagne at the banquet. He’d woken up with a dreadful hangover and no memory of the previous banquet and he isn’t eager to repeat it. Besides, as a bronze medalist he has to stay sober enough for the sponsors. 

He is more than surprised when Victor appears after 20 minutes and offers him a glass of champagne. He looks disappointed when Yuuri declines. He recoups quickly though, and compliments his skating.

“Yuuri! Your skating was so lovely. I felt like I was watching you make music with your body.”

Yuuri flushes. “You-- Yours was amazing too!”

“Your theme is ‘home,’ is it not?” Yuuri nods. “Tell me Yuuri, where is home?”

Before Yuuri can answer, Phichit appears at his side with a gleam in his eye that tells Yuuri he is feeling the effects off his first drink. He glances between Yuuri and Victor and speaks in Thai. 

“You’ve got more than one person making eyes at you right now,” he says suggestively. “Am I going to need to find somewhere else to sleep tonight?”

“Wha--” Yuuri splutters, turning even redder. He looks at Victor. “Would you excuse us for a moment?”

Victor acquiesces with a nod, an intrigued expression on his face. 

Yuuri steers Phichit away into a corner of the room. He speaks in Thai so they aren’t overheard, familiar enough with the language after five months of heavy use to hold an in-depth conversation. 

“What was that back there?” 

Phichit sips at his champagne. “I’m trying to be a good wingman! But I need to know who to talk to first.”

“I can’t sleep with anybody tonight!”

“You don’t have to! But that doesn’t mean you can’t walk away with someone’s phone number.”

“Phichit!”

“You don’t have to if you really don’t want to. But people _are_ really checking you out. Don’t try to deny it.”

Yuuri blushes. “I just want to have a normal banquet. No drinking, no trying to get anybody’s numbers.”

Phichit sighs. “Fine, but promise you’ll let me set you up at some point, okay? I want my best friend to find love!”

Yuuri shoots Phichit a look that says he doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. Phichit shrugs and drains the rest of his glass, then pulls Yuuri back toward the middle of the room. He catches Victor’s eye and directs their steps back toward him. As they walk past the drink table, Phichit grabs another glass of champagne. 

The three of them stand and talk for a while about their routines. Victor asks most of the questions and seems content listening to Yuuri talk. Phichit becomes increasingly tactile throughout the conversation as he gradually slides into tipsiness and then past it. Yuuri doesn’t bother shoving him off. He doesn’t want to appear rude in front of Victor Nikiforov and he knows it won’t deter his friend anyway. Instead he clasps Phichit’s hand at his side and hopes that might prevent him from doing anything especially embarrassing.

Unfortunately, Victor starts to look closed off not long after they start holding hands. Yuuri wonders if he’s said something wrong and runs through the conversation in his mind. He also takes a deep breath before panic can even start to take over. It doesn’t help much. Is he boring Victor? Did he offend him? What has he done wrong?

Phichit looks up at him sharply and it’s almost like he can read his thoughts.  At the next break in the conversation he looks at Victor and says, “Would you excuse us? I think I need to grab another drink.”

Victor looks between the two of them with an expression that almost seems disappointed and nods. Phichit pulls Yuuri away toward the drink table. 

Before they reach the table, Phichit turns to Yuuri. “What’s up?” he asks clearly, not nearly drunk enough for his speech to slur. “I felt you doing your deep breathing thing and you look a little freaked.”

Yuuri takes a breath or two. “Did I say something wrong? He looked upset.”

Phichit’s face displays an exaggerated albeit genuine concern. He takes Yuuri by the shoulders. “You didn’t say anything wrong. Trust me. I heard everything even if I am a little drunk. If he looked upset, maybe it was because he was trying to hold in a fart.” A smile breaks through and he giggles at the idea of Victor Nikiforov, skating legend, breaking wind. 

Yuuri can’t help but find it a little funny too. A smile twitches at the corner of his lips. 

“Now come on,” Phichit continues. “Let’s dance!”

Yuuri lets himself be dragged by his friend. They head to where a few other people are dancing and join in. Yuuri normally wouldn’t do this sober, but it’s okay with Phichit here. He catches a glimpse of Victor dancing and conversing with Chris, but neither of them look his way so he doesn’t approach. 

As the night wears on, Yuuri finds himself having to gently stop Phichit from draping himself over Yuuri all the time. When he begins to tell passerby in Thai that Yuuri is his best friend, he decides to call it a night and drag Phichit back up to their hotel room. 

Despite there being two queen size beds in this room, Phichit tugs at Yuuri until he joins him. “My hamsters aren’t here so you have to cuddle with me,” he insists. 

Yuuri laughs and lays down. Phichit snuggles into him. “You’re amazing, and you won a bronze medal, and you’re my best friend,” he mutters.

***

Yuuri finishes the season with gold medals at Nationals and Four Continents and silver at Worlds. He thinks about retiring, but Phichit counters all of his arguments. 

“You said you’d be ending on a high note, but don’t you want to go even higher? Even if you’ve never said it, I know you want to get gold in the Grand Prix Final. And besides,” Phichit says with a smile, “it’s a lot more fun to train when you’re around.”

In the end Yuuri agrees, but he takes a month off to visit Hasetsu right after worlds. Phichit comes with him. Yuuri’s family loves him and delights over the chance to get to know their son’s best friend. At the end of the month and after much prodding from the triplets, they skate a small exhibition program at Ice Castle. Phichit insists on bringing in some of the kids who practice at the rink, including Yuuko and Takashi’s daughters. It’s some of the most fun either Phichit or Yuuri have ever had skating.

***

Yuuri skates for two more years. He wins an Olympic silver medal for Japan before announcing his retirement. Yuri Plisetsky takes gold and becomes the first skater to ever land a quad axle in competition. Phichit wins bronze and becomes Thailand’s poster child for the next several months. 

***

Yuuri goes home to Japan for the longest visit since the year he almost didn’t compete. He has an offer from Celestino as an assistant coach, but he needs time to think it through. 

 He enjoys his time at home with his family and loves helping out as a skating instructor at Ice Castle. Even so, he doesn’t want to live in the onsen or take it over someday, and he quickly finds himself missing the promise of competition. He finds himself missing Phichit, too; after living together for the better part of eight years he is just as much family as Mari or his parents. 

After three months in Hasetsu Yuuri accepts Celestino’s offer and returns to Thailand. 

***

For four years, Yuuri throws himself into being an assistant coach as thoroughly as he threw himself into being a skater. He mostly works with the junior skaters, allowing Celestino to devote more energy and attention to Phichit’s career. 

He continues to share an apartment with Phichit. Their roles are different now, but they’re still best friends. Phichit still talks him down from anxiety attacks when he fears he isn’t good enough, and Yuuri is still there for Phichit for all his best and worst moments.

***

In his second year of coaching he runs into Victor Nikiforov sporting a press badge and a wedding ring during a competition. When Victor approaches him, Yuuri assumes it’s to talk about one of Celestino’s skaters. He’s surprised when instead Victor thanks him.

“What for?” Yuuri asks.

“For inspiring me. You showed me what passion looks like on the ice and you reminded me that there was more to life than skating when you were off it. And when I saw you with Phichit, I wanted to find a love like that. After I retired I went traveling for two years and came home once I met the love of my life.” He lifts up the hand with his wedding ring on it. “I suppose I have you to thank for my marriage, in a way.”

Yuuri stares at him dumbfounded for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond to the news his childhood idol has just shared with him. After working his mouth for a moment, he speaks.

“Phichit and I were never together. He’s my best friend!”

“But you--” Victor looks shocked, then lets out a hearty laugh. “You know, I was going to ask you out that night until I saw you two holding hands and dancing. I guess we missed our chance over a misunderstanding! After a year and a half happily married, I can’t say I regret that I never got the chance to ask.” He grins at Yuuri. 

Yuuri reddens and is at a loss for words. When he finally finds his voice he clears his throat and says, “Wow. Uh... Congratulations on your marriage!”

Victor is still smiling. “Thank you. For everything.”

***

Yuuri usually brings Phichit with him on his yearly visits to Hasetsu. The day before his next visit, however, Phichit comes down with the flu and is in no condition to travel for at least another week. Yuuri leaves ahead of him, and Phichit changes his ticket.

When Yuuri arrives home, his family barely welcomes him before asking why he has arrived alone.

“Where’s Phichit?” his mom asks. “You know I love seeing your boyfriend almost as much as I love seeing you!”

Yuuri is too shocked to be embarrassed. “Phichit isn’t my boyfriend! What made you think that?”

His mom looks as shocked as Yuuri feels. “You’ve been roommates for ten years and he always comes home with you on visits. You’re always flirting and laughing in Thai together!”

"Flirting?” Yuuri asks, embarrassment creeping in. He shakes his head rapidly. “No, no, no, that’s not--! We’re not dating!”

His mother hums in disappointment. “If you say so. You always look so happy around him, and I want you to be happy.”

Yuuri can still feel himself blushing. “I know, mom. And I promise I’ll tell you if I start dating someone, but I am not dating Phichit.”

***

It doesn’t take long for Yuuri to find out that it isn’t just his mom making assumptions about his relationship with his Phichit. He ends up having to correct his entire family as well as the Nishigoris. He frets over how to tell his friend because now that he knows, he can’t avoid it. People will treat them differently and Phichit will almost certainly notice the change. He’ll probably think it’s funny, knowing him, but Yuuri still worries.

Finally, he texts him just before he knows Phichit is scheduled to get on the plane to Japan.

_I thought I should warn you that my entire family thought we were dating until a week ago. If anything seems weird that’s why and I’m so sorry._

_omg really? lololol thanks for the heads up  
gtg they’re telling us to turn off our phones!_

_have a safe flight!_

***

“I can’t believe my family thought we were dating,” Yuuri groans that night. “All those times we were just talking in Thai they thought we were flirting! I remember that one of those times you were asking me where to buy condoms because you had your eye on one of the other Hot Springs guests!”

Phichit laughs at the memory. “And then you yelled at me because the guy I was interested in was married! I still never saw a ring though, Yuuri.”

“That’s because you only ever saw him in the bath where he probably took it off!”

Phichit laughs again. “I can’t believe your family saw things like that as us flirting.”

Yuuri sighs. “It’s probably because they’ve never seen me actually flirting.”

“I don’t think  _I’ve_  ever seen you actually flirting, Yuuri.”

“Can you blame me? You know I don’t want to hook up with strangers and it takes a long time to get close to people. I’m 28 and I’ve never found someone I wanted to date.”

Phichit shrugs. “Neither have I. We’ve both been too busy for anything serious.”

“But you aren’t almost 30, Phichit. I am and I’ve never even had sex.”

“Not wanting sex with strangers isn’t any more wrong than wanting it. You just haven’t had the right opportunity. But if being a virgin bothers you that much, I’ll have sex with you.”

“What?!” Yuuri shoots up, his back straight and tense.

Phichit gives him an amused smile. “Your first time doesn’t have to be with someone you love, but it should be with someone you trust. My first time was with a friend - no pressure or expectation - and it was great. If you ever decide you want to just get it over with, I’d help you out.” Phichit frowns. “Just as long as it’s not right before a competition.”

Yuuri stares at him, mouth agape. He says nothing.

“Look, I don’t expect you to say yes right now and take me. I don’t even expect you to say yes ever. But I want you to know that the offer stands, just in case, okay?”

“O-okay.”

“And if you wait for a relationship, I’ll be there for advice too.”

“Thanks,” Yuuri mutters. “But at this point I’m afraid that I’ll never find a relationship.”

“You will. You just have to make time to look and be open to opportunities.”

“But what if I find someone and self-destruct?”

“Then they’ll either come running after you, or they won’t and you’ll know they weren’t a good fit after all. Trust me Yuuri, you’re going to find someone just as amazing as you are.”

“But what if I don’t? Some people do end up alone! For all I know, I could be one of them.”

“I think most of those people just don’t want a romantic relationship. You’re not one of them.” Phichit breaks out into a goofy grin. “But I’ll make you a deal. If neither of us is in a serious relationship by the time we’re 40, we’ll marry each other.”

That gets a laugh out of Yuuri. “Okay,” he says. “Deal.”

***

Phichit’s 27th birthday party doubles as his retirement party. He had considered retiring a year and a half prior when an injury had taken him off the ice for several months, but he’d brought the beauty and joy of skating to the forefront of the Thai people’s minds with an Olympic bronze medal and he had wanted to do it one more time. So when he had healed enough, he got back on the ice to skate a final season. 

Now here he is, 27 and with two Olympic bronze medals under his belt, and Yuuri is talking with him about the future. 

“Are you planning to stay in Thailand?” Yuuri asks. “Do you still want to do the Phichit On Ice show?”

Phichit nods. “I’ve been reaching out to some other skaters since Worlds ended and a few people seem interested! I was actually thinking about asking you, next. I know you’re busy coaching most of the year but now it’s the off season. It could be a lot of fun!”

Yuuri bit his lip and looked down, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Or not? Don’t feel like you have to do it, but I’m surprised. I thought you’d want to.”

“No! No, it’s not that,” Yuuri quickly reassures him. “It’s just that... well I’ve been meaning to bring this up but I didn’t know how. I might be moving back to Japan.”

“What? Since when? Why?”

Yuuri takes a breath and looks up at him. “The triplets are almost 13 now, and Lutz and Loop want to start skating competitively. Yuuko asked me if I could recommend any coaches in Japan so I asked Celestino. He said that I should do it.”

“Oh, wow!”

“I know. I wanted to transition to being a full time coach with my own skaters someday, but I’m afraid I’m not ready. What if I screw up with the music or the choreography? What if I make a bad call and they get hurt practicing something too advanced?”

“I’d miss you like crazy, but you should do it! Ciao Ciao wouldn’t suggest it if he didn’t think you were ready.”

“I know. I trust his judgement. I know I’ve learned a lot and gotten better at coaching. But I don’t think I’d feel ready even if I’d been an assistant coach for ten years.”

Phichit smiles. “Then you should just do it. I’m sure your family will love having you back. You’ll just have to come back to Thailand during the off season!”

***

Yuuri is in Japan and it feels like he’s dying. It’s not in the more familiar way that accompanies an anxiety attack, sudden and with rapid breaths that can never take in enough air. No, it’s a desperate feeling that roars its head when he’s alone, a persistent emptiness that reminds him of the weeks after Vicchan died. 

His apartment feels far too quiet. He had found his own place instead of staying in the onsen. It is his first time truly living alone. 

It’s better when he’s out of his apartment or when friends and family visit, but sometimes the ache still creeps in. On nights when it’s too much and he can’t sleep, he uses the empty spare bedroom as a dance studio. 

The feeling only disappears when he calls Phichit. Yuuri doesn’t bring up how he’s feeling. Instead, they talk about all the things they used to talk about before Yuuri moved. When Phichit talks about his ice show plans, Yuuri tells him that he wishes he were there to see it. When Yuuri talks about how things are going with the girls, Phichit says the same. And when they hang up, the desperate empty feeling comes rushing back. 

Yuuri misses his best friend.

***

It takes a month for the intense loneliness to fade into something more manageable. The little twinge of sadness is still there but it grows smaller and is no longer at the forefront of his mind when he’s alone. When he hangs up with Phichit, the happiness lingers instead of being replaced by crushing emptiness.

He still misses his friend, but he’s adjusted to life without seeing him every day. Now he finds himself looking forward to the calm and quiet solitude of his apartment at the end of a long day of practice. He still has guests for dinner on occasion, but it’s no longer to fend off the oppressive silence.

His life isn’t necessarily better without his best friend, but he’s able to appreciate the presence of his family and he’s able to enjoy being in Japan.

***

The first time they see each other after Yuuri moves back to Japan is at Phichit’s debut show. Yuuri flies to Bangkok just to see it. There are other skaters there, some of them old friends, but after months apart Yuuri only has eyes for Phichit.  After the show they’re both crying happy tears as they hug. The embrace feels like a welcome home.

For a fleeting moment Yuuri thinks, _I’m so happy I could kiss him._ Yuuri feels shock course through him and the moment is over. Yet somehow he’s still too happy to bring himself to worry about it now and he rapidly convinces himself the thought was a fluke.

He pulls back and holds Phichit at arm’s length. “Congratulations on your show! It was amazing!”

“I know! I mean thank you! I bet I inspired all the kids in that audience.”

“You nearly made me want to take up skating again!”

Phichit snorts. “You never even gave it up, Yuuri. You became a coach so you could keep skating.”

“Okay, you have a point. But you were still inspiring.”

Phichit smiles at him. “Thanks. And thanks for coming. You’re a great friend.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

***

Phichit shows up for the first competition the girls are in. Neither are in the Grand Prix series this year, so the first one is a qualifier for Japanese nationals. He doesn’t tell Yuuri he’s coming. When Yuuri spots him, he’s in the stands sitting next to Axel and waving.

Yuuri’s mouth drops open in surprise before he snaps it shut. He’s tempted to drop everything and run over, but there isn’t enough time before the girls’ skates so he settles for waving back enthusiastically. Phichit mimes with his phone and Yuuri looks at his to see he’s gotten a text. It’s from Phichit.

 _Tell the girls I said good luck! And good luck to you too!!!_  

There are three thumbs up emojis following the words. Yuuri’s heart soars. The show of support via text would have been enough, but with Phichit there in the stands, Yuuri has an inkling of the feeling that everything is right in the world.

***

Yuuri introduces the girls to his katsudon tradition. Phichit and Axel join in, even though they were spectators and didn’t win anything. So does Loop, even though she took fourth while her sister took second. The girls polish off a bowl each and Yuuri thinks all three of them might be due for growth spurts. Yuuri and Phichit are no longer training vigorously like they were during their competition days and split a bowl between them. Phichit engages him in a chopstick swordfight when they reach for the same piece of pork. The girls laugh.

After dinner the triplets go back home and Phichit comes to Yuuri’s apartment with him. There isn’t a second bed but they have too much catching up to do for Phichit to stay in the onsen. They stay up late into the night, perched on Yuuri’s bed and talking to each other.

When Yuuri awakes in the morning, it’s to Phichit poking him in the arm. Their limbs had become entangled throughout the night and there is no way for him to get out without waking the other man.

“Yuuri!” Phichit whines. “Let me up!”

“’m comfortable,” Yuuri mutters, words barely intelligible.

“But I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Ngh.”

“If you don’t let me go I’m going to pee in the bed and then neither of us will be comfortable,” Phichit threatens.

“Fine,” Yuuri says into his pillow. He moves his arms. There’s a rush of cold air as Phichit gets up and pulls back the covers. Yuuri glares at him.

“Sorry! I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He drops the covers back into place.

When Phichit returns he crawls back into bed and Yuuri, still half asleep, clings to him and buries his face in his friend’s neck.

“Y’smell nice,” he murmurs.

“It’s shampoo I stole from a hotel.”

Yuuri takes a deep breath through his nose. “Smells nice,” he repeats.

Phichit pats him on the head. “Go back to sleep.”

***

To both of their delights, Phichit is able to stay for a full week. He hadn’t even made other arrangements for a place to stay even though he’d shown up without warning. Yuuri doesn’t mind. With his friend staying with him, his apartment finally feels like home. Phichit shares his bed, which is big enough for two. Yuuri doesn’t have a guest bed and his couch, while comfortable for sitting, is ill-suited for sleeping. No matter how they fall asleep, they always awake in the same position. They’re both natural cuddlers.

When they’re lying side-by-side at night, that feeling of being so happy he could kiss Phichit returns. He doesn’t know what to make of it. He had attributed the feeling after the ice show to being caught up in the excitement of a performance well-done. But there’s no show this time, just the steady comfort and joy of being with someone he cares about. He blames the feeling on any number of things: he wants the physical comforts of a relationship and Phichit happens to be the only person he talks to who isn’t family or married; cuddling in bed is something couples do and naturally his brain wants him to do other things couples do like kiss; he actually does want to kiss his friend but it’s only because kissing feels nice and he trusts him as a friend. But Yuuri also can’t deny that it wasn’t like this before. They’ve been affectionate with each other since they were barely adults and sharing an apartment in Detroit. Yuuri never wanted to kiss him until recently.

By the end of the week, Yuuri is forced to admit to himself that he has a crush on his best friend.

***

Yuuri expects to feel relieved when Phichit leaves because he needs time and space away to think through his realization. Instead, the lonely hole in his chest rips back open and he spends every minute wishing Phichit didn’t have to go back to Thailand.

The loneliness isn’t as bad as the first time because he knows how to deal with it and he knows it will pass, eventually. Unfortunately, it comes with another realization. He doesn’t just have a crush on Phichit; he is in love with him.

Yuuri tries everything he can to get out of his own head. He tries to skate at night, but he can’t push his body to do the difficult jumps he’d need to get his mind off things without the risk of being injured. He spends more time training the girls, but there’s only so much he can ask of them. He spends hours in his second bedroom dancing until his legs scream.

Nothing is enough and he knows he needs to talk it out with someone. The problem is, the person he’d usually talk to is the one person he can’t say anything to.

***

Yuuri keeps everything to himself for a month. It isn’t until he’s at the onsen to soak his aching muscles that anything changes.

Mari catches him as he’s exiting the baths for the main part of the inn.

“Hey, little brother.”

“Hi Mari. What are you doing over here?”

She shrugs, but her expression isn’t nonchalant. “I wanted to ask if you were okay.”

“Oh.” Yuuri blinks in surprise. “Why?”

“Yuuko says you’ve been spending a lot more time at the rink lately. And every time I see you, you look tired. You’re not sleeping well. I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

Yuuri hesitates, thinking it over quickly before making a decision. He’s known for a while that as much as he doesn’t want to, he has to talk about this with somebody. He hasn’t thought of talking to his family before, but he knows he can trust Mari.

“Okay,” he says. “But I want to get dressed first.”

Mari looks mildly surprised that he agreed readily as he leaves to change out of his yukata. When he comes back she’s waiting for him.

“So?” she asks.

Yuuri takes a deep breath. He can do this. Talking to Mari will help. It has to.

“I’m in love with Phichit.”

Mari raises her eyebrows. “That’s not a good thing?” She doesn’t look remotely surprised to hear what Yuuri had expected to be a shocking revelation.

“What if it’s awkward and we stop being friends?”

“What if what’s awkward? Dating him? Telling him?”

“All of it! What if I start acting weird around him and he thinks I hate him or something?”

“Yuuri, he wouldn’t give up on your friendship.”

Yuuri huffs. “I know. But he’d ask what was wrong and then I’d have to tell him I’m in love with him! What if he doesn’t feel the same way and our friendship falls apart? What if he does and we start dating and then break up?”

“Would you stop being friends with him if that happened?”

“No.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about.” Yuuri opens his mouth to protest, but Mari continues. “But telling you not to worry is like telling you to see clearly without your glasses. So hear me out, okay?”

Yuuri nods.

“There’s a reason everyone thought you were already together and it’s not just because you two are always touching when you’re around each other. It’s the way you look at each other too. _Both_ of you look like you’re in love. And you were roommates for twelve years. You talk to him all the time when he’s not around. You’re good at communicating with each other. If something bad happens, and I don’t think it will, your friendship can survive it. Okay?”

Yuuri steps forward and hugs his sister. She pats him on his back. “You’re welcome,” she says with a smile. “Now, do you think you can tell him?”

Yuuri stiffens. Before he can say anything, Mari is already responding. “I think you should try. You’ve been losing sleep over it. You might feel less anxious if you have an answer.”

Yuuri finally speaks. “Thank you, Mari. I’ll do my best to tell him.”

***

Yuuri spends nearly every waking moment for two weeks helping prepare the girls for their next competition. He is too busy to do anything more than text Phichit during a hasty lunch.

He hopes that Phichit will be able to attend the competition again so they can talk face to face but when he asks, his friend tells him he can’t afford to take time off that weekend. Yuuri searches the stands for him that day anyway. He sees the rest of the Nishigori family, but no Phichit.

After returning home and celebrating a successful competition, Yuuri picks up his phone to text Phichit. His heart is already racing before he looks to find a message already there, following the texted congratulations.

_Hey Yuuri! Can we skype tonight? I need to talk to you about something  
It’s not bad or anything  <3_

Yuuri types out a response and deletes it a few times. Finally, he sends it and boots up his computer.

_I was about to say the same thing. I’ll be online in a minute_

As soon as he logs in Phichit calls him. His usually smiling face isn’t smiling when Yuuri answers.

“Hi Yuuri.” His voice wavers a little.

“Hey.”

“So…”

“So.”

Phichit takes a shaky breath. “Okay. Okay, I’m doing this. I didn’t want to say anything before the competition because I didn’t want to be a distraction, but I’ve been thinking about this ever since our last visit.”

Yuuri’s heart beats faster, thudding even louder than it had been before. He doesn’t say anything.

“Yuuri, I’m in love with you.” Phichit pauses, waiting for Yuuri’s response.

Yuuri is dumbstruck for half a second before relief floods through him and he lets out a short laugh.

“Yuuri?” Phichit’s face is red. “Yuuri! Why are you laughing at me?”

“I’m not!” A giggle bubbles up and he tries to suppress it. “I’m not, I’m relieved. Phichit, I’m in love with you too.”

“Oh, thank god,” Phichit says and starts laughing too.

Suddenly they’re both in fits of giggles as the last month’s worth of stress and worry melts away. There are tears streaming down both of their cheeks and everything seems so funny.

When they calm down enough for words, they talk. They talk about how they realized they were in love (for Phichit it was the first morning of his last visit when Yuuri cuddled with him and told him he smelled good), how long they’ve actually been in love (years, probably), and when they will next be able to see each other (after Junior nationals for Yuuri’s birthday). They talk about what they’ll do about living in different countries and what they’ll do when they are together again. They talk about all that and more until it’s three in the morning and Yuuri falls asleep talking.

***

He doesn’t even need to tell his family. The next time he visits, Mari glances at him and says “You look well rested.” When he smiles and blushes she smirks and says, “I’m glad that conversation went well. When can we expect the wedding?”

“Mari!” he says, just as his father walks in.

“Who’s getting married?” He looks between his two children, smiling. “I take it you worked things out with Phichit.”

Yuuri frowns at his sister. “You told him?”

She shakes her head and his father speaks up. “Your mother and I guessed. We knew you’d figure it out eventually. Congratulations.”

***

Yuuri is more excited for his birthday than he has been since he was a child. Not much has changed since he and Phichit first talked except that they tell each other they love each other at every opportunity and Yuuri walks around with a permanent smile on his face. He also wants to see Phichit more desperately than he ever has before. During the month-long wait, he nearly buys a one-way ticket to Thailand four times. The only thing that stops him is imagining how upset the triplets will be if he vanishes right before nationals.

He tries to throw himself into his coaching duties but it doesn’t distract him much from the anticipation of seeing his _boyfriend_. Every time he so much as glances at the place where his phone is stored, he grins and has to stop himself from skating over to check it. He had been checking it almost constantly for the first week until Lutz chastised him.

“I’m happy you’re in love,” she had said. “But can you help me with this triple?”

Now, a week before nationals, he ignores it as best he can. Phichit knows better than to text him during skating practice anyway.

***

Yuuri hasn’t been to Japanese Junior Nationals since he was in Juniors himself over a decade ago. It feels much different as a coach, even though he’s still nervous. This is his first major competition and he knows everyone will be watching Lutz and Loop. The whole country will want to know how Japan’s Ace fares as a coach. At least it’s easier to hide his nerves under a mask of encouragement when he’s not the one doing the jumps. Still, he wishes Phichit were at his side as he smiles at reporters who ask him questions about the girls.

Lutz and Loop are placed in the same group, and Yuuri watches with bated breath as they take the ice in turn. He hardly breathes during either of their short programs. Loop stumbles a little out of a spin but Lutz’s performance is flawless and they both score well.

The success continues into the free programs the next day. Neither of them make the podium, but Yuuri doesn’t expect them to in their first year when they’re surrounded by older and more experienced skaters. They do, however, make top ten.

Yuuri celebrates with them over dinner and knows that if they were a bit older they’d be celebrating much longer into the night. As it is, everyone retires to their rooms early for a good night’s rest after an exhausting day of competition.

Yuuri relaxes in his hotel room alone, still smiling to himself while going over the performances to determine what to work on for the girls’ future competitions. His phone buzzes and his smile widens before he even sees that it’s Phichit.

_Congratulations!!! *\o/*_

_Thank you <3 I wish you were here_

_What’s your room #?_

  1. _why?_



_I might send something to your door_

_What is it?_

_It’s a surprise!_

_Is it flowers?_

_Maaaaybe_

_You’re so sweet! I love you_

_You haven’t even seen them yet!_

_Fine. I’ll wait to complement them until I see them. But I still love you_

_< 3_

Yuuri jolts at a knock on the door. He texts Phichit as he walks to it.

_I think they’re here?! I didn’t expect it to be that fast!_

He doesn’t wait for a reply before turning the handle and swinging it open. Instead of the hotel staff he expects to see, however, Phichit stands there holding a bouquet of roses.

“Surprise!”

“Phichit!” Yuuri grabs him and pulls him into a hug, burying his face in his neck. He breathes in deeply, inhaling the comforting and familiar scent that he hasn’t even realized he’s missed. “I’m so happy to see you,” he mutters.

They pull back and Phichit steps into the room and closes the door behind him. There’s a blush on his cheeks. “Me too. Happy early birthday, Yuuri.”

“Thanks!”

Yuuri smiles. So does Phichit. They stare at each other for a full minute, grinning at each other without saying a word. Finally, Phichit leans in and kisses him. There are no fireworks and it doesn’t feel like a flame erupting inside of him. Instead, a gentle warmth rises in him and fills him to his soul.

Yuuri kisses him back. And even though this is only a visit, even though they’re standing in a hotel room far from Hasetsu, it feels like he’s welcoming Phichit home.


End file.
